Not Wookey Likely!

It’s not quite a caving story, but it’s a Pam Ayers style account of Sue and Bill Osborne's couple of days stay at Wessex C.C. and what they did there.

Booked a couple of nights at Wessex C.C.

Plenty in the area to do and see,

Glastonbury Tor Gold Hill

Wookey Hole

Pirate Island Dinosaurs

A friendly welcome, a cup of tea,

Ready for some site seeing Bill and me.

Up at crack ‘o dawn to check our maps,

Ok, mid-morning, with Glastonbury Tor up for grabs.

So, up we went and up some more

Till we reached the top, great views galore!

Business took us near Shaftesbury.

Well, it’s Hovis land, so it ‘ad to be

Gold Hill, as steep as the telly ad said,

Plus a giant Hovis statue, we could fair smell ‘ot bread.

We walked t’ steep cobbles in bare feet o’ course,

No ‘and cart for us, no bicycles, no ‘orse,

And no fresh baked ‘ovis and no cup o’ tea,

But a beautiful vista for Bill and me.

Staying at a cavin’ club, perhaps a trip below?

Ooh yes, good idea, but no gear, so where to go?

Not far from Cheddar, great Gorge an’ all,

But instead we opted for Wookey Hole.

Of course the place was a doddle to find

But it weren’t the cavin’ we ‘ad in mind.

For a start it were twenty quid a-piece.

Flippin’ Eck! ‘Ow much? We couldn’t believe

What a rip off, then saw – it’s all in

With Dinosaur Park, Pirates and paper makin’!

Paper Making? Yep! That’s what it says,

And some paper might come in handy down a cave

If you need a Tom Tit and really can’t wait,

But you won’t be popular with yer cavin’ mates.

Needless to say, we had to think again.

Cos we might’ve bumped into Billy Butlin

With Hotel an’ all, Heidi Hi, oh crikey!

Did we go in then? Not Wookey likely!

Susan Osborne.

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