Text Box: Something from the Brown Lagoon


I'd known about this feature for years and so had most of the RRCPC but none had ventured near and now it was too late to back down. The entrance was open and though often blocked was quite wide but inside was the off-putting feature, brown, smelly and evil. The young tyros in the club had backed away in awe from the small glutinous opening and yet here was I about to go where none had gone before.

I approached with trepidation, it was an ugly sight but what was worse was the thing within, coiled tightly, its limbs overlapping and entwined while encased in the putrid concoction that one JHN had brewed. Yes it was fifty foot long and almost defied description, a ladder! Da Da Dah!

Not any old ladder but the one that had lain in the bottom of the Lanolin and White Spirit brew that had lost its liquidness many moons ago and was now just a gelatinous goo, which coated every surface of the ladder. Delving into the depths of the bucket I retrieved the vicious item with gloved hands and extended arms, phew what a smell! Not the sort of aroma that Haze could even sell to aspiring motor mechanics.

Moving with lightening speed I rushed from the tackle-store to the pond and threw it in, so relieving myself for a moment but I knew I had to deal with it properly. Approaching stealthily I determined where the C-links were probably located somewhere in the larger blob of brown slime encrusting the ladder and proceeded to gingerly fondle around until I finally found the links. Maybe they’d healed up and wouldn’t come apart, no there they were but several swipes with a rag and they were still locked together. Finally I managed to prize them apart and the whole thing unrolled across the grass in the sunshine as if it had finally been released from some curse that had kept it in shape for millennia.

Over the next half hour I slowly teased the rungs away from each other and wiped them clear of their encrusting slime until, like a butterfly bursting forth from the chrysalis, we had a fine gleaming ladder to be used by us all once again.

The moral of the story.....Let someone else clean the ladders.


Ray (The Intrepid) Duffy

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