The Book of Revelations.

And lo there was a mighty gathering and nobody really knew what to do on the day of the Sabbath, But a wise prophet stood up amongst the masses and uttered a prophesy:
“Enjoy not the pleasures of the flesh but follow me and be consumed by the earth.”
Then there was a muttering and Peter of Portsmouth dids’t uttereth
‘Sour grapes Giles, piss off!” And the masses didst taketh the piss of’ Giles and feasted on the swines and the eggs, sausage, black puddings, porrige oat and quaffed the tea as was written.

Suddenly there appeareth a shining light and the masses did cower and the grip was mustered. And out of the light there came a voice which uttereth:
“Thou shalt getteth a grip and carry my camera gear down the sacred abyss of Sylvestor Pot while I haveth a bimble.” It was Horriblus Hallus governer of all Judea, Abyssinia and Casterton Fell. And the masses did attendeth as was expected and the slave didst turneth to shite as was also expected, and the masses did tremble in awe at the mighty chasm.

Under the earth Peter of Portsmouth and Philip of Norwich didst riggeth the pitch. while Hallus did loseth his rag and utter the name of’ our Lord in vain.
And there appeareth a void into which the youth was taken up but the void was blocked and there was a mighty curse. Later after Hallus did smite the slave against the living rock and the youth didst cower at the nerest thought of desecrating the idols of Olympus ans Sunpack the pilgrims didst returneth to the sun and paid homage to it stateing “You are the true way and Hallus is a false prophet!” And the Lord did grin and they consumeth the last supper before the Elders met at the meeting of the BCRA tribe where they didst wonder as to the point of it all.
Here endeth the lesson.


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