Rescue at Bullpot Farm

Sunday Morning   8/11/81

I arrived to cries of anguish from the kitchen. “No water!”, “Must be a blockage!’ Never mind, a teapot full of water had been rescued from the tap just after the initial flow of “liquid mud’ and before the blockage occurred.

Much banging of pipes & scratching of heads later, Ron gave the tap mouth to mouth resuscitation. Meanwhile comments such as “What’s in this tea?.” and ‘This tea’s got a kick to it,” were being bandied about. The reason for this soon became apparent when a frogs leg plopped out of the tap, fortunately after Ron had abandoned his mouth to mouth remedy. One leg down and three to go, plus a few other odd bits of frog anatomy we now had water in the kitchen but still nothing in the bog upstairs. The rescue team then moved its centre of operations to the new location, but more specialised equipment was needed so Andy donated his car tool kit. Unions & pipes were separated as the elite of the clubs rescue team looked on. Could we get the victim out in time?

As expected we were too late, by about three months, judging by the 3 legs & body that were eventually recovered. These were irreverently transported downstairs and dangled over Al and Dave’s breakfast, in the hope that they’d be put off their food, leaving those huge plates of sausages, bacon, steak, beans & potatoes to be scavenged by us vultures. In spite of ashen faces and mutterings of I feel sick they kept on stuffing their faces while the frogs remains were interred in the fireplace for a later cremation.

You’re probably wondering what happened to the head, well so were we until we heard a faint cheer from upstairs as the last bit of frog was released. On hearing this, Al & Dave frantically downed the rest of their breakfast in record time before the “last bit” was brought down to join the other pieces on the funeral pyre.

So next time you’re having a brew in the kitchen, you nay be getting more than you bargained for. Instead of the tea having body it may nave “bodies” .                                                                     

Boyd Harris.


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